


Harry Potter : Lord of Sass

by xXcrystalicXx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Bashing, BAMF Harry Potter, Character Bashing, Evil Albus Dumbledore, F/F, F/M, Ginny Weasley Bashing, Gringotts Fix-It, Harry Potter Has Issues, Harry Potter Has a Pet Snake, Harry Potter is a Good Friend, Harry loves pointing out Shady laws, Harry needs sleep, Hermione Granger is a Good Friend, Hufflepuff Harry Potter, I'm basic, I'm having way to much fun with the tags, I'm predictable ig, M/M, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Morally Grey Harry Potter, Only some, Powerful Harry, Ravenclaw Hermione Granger, Remus Lupin Raises Harry Potter, Sane Tom Riddle, Sarcastic Harry Potter, Slytherin Harry Potter, Smart Harry Potter, So Do I tbh, Someone stop me, Tom Riddle is His Own Warning, Weasley Family Bashing (Harry Potter), and much later in the fic, as I said sassy, as much as you can raise a sassy child, as sane as he can be, but don't we all, but that's okay, change my mind, close enough, george and Fred love him though, harry owns hogwarts, he will drag you while telling you how pretty you are, hes both, is this a crack fic?, let's not lie to ourselves here, no seriously, possibly, probably, will Harry smack someone across the face
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29596458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXcrystalicXx/pseuds/xXcrystalicXx
Summary: Harry meets Remus a little earlier than planned and is a bit more slytherin than in cannon. It snowballs from there.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Fred Weasley, Harry Potter/Fred Weasley/George Weasley, Harry Potter/George Weasley, I'll add more later - Relationship, Luna Lovegood/Neville Longbottom
Comments: 49
Kudos: 298





	1. Chapter 1

Harry was a quiet boy.  
He disliked conflict and preferred to keep to himself. He found comfort in small spaces only he could reach.  
Of course, the Dursleys didn't know this or they certainly wouldn't have made his room the cupboard under the stairs.  
His last room was the cupboard under the sink but he outgrew it.  
A shame, really,Harry missed how clean it smelled.  
The Dursleys didn't know a lot about Harry in actuality, otherwise, they would have probably acted differently around him.  
Harry didn't mind, as long as he could go to the library and sit on the squishy beanbags, all while cozying up with a new fantasy novel, he was happy.  
Harry didn't mind the chores the Dursleys gave him too.  
He thought they made him rather hard working.  
Harry liked being hardworking.  
Hardworking meant he was useful and no one would abandon him.  
Harry was content with that.  
Harry was content with life. So he ignored all the freaky things happening around him.  
Magic didn't exist.  
Someone's hair couldn't just suddenly turn blue and teleportation was certainly impossible! Certainly.  
Uncle Vernon said so, and Vernon always told the truth.  
Harry was very adamant in that and ignored the floating ball of light he was using to read his new book while crammed inside the cupboard..

....  
Dudleys birthday was coming up and Harry, who heard the rumor of Miss Figg breaking her leg, thought it perfectly justifiable to unplug the home phone so the Dursleys didn't hear her call to tell them about her problem.  
He hoped Aunt Petunia hadn't heard the same rumor.  
And it seemed she didn't, because she shoved him outside of the door muttering about the latest gossip she heard last night with a small bag containing one of Dudleys horrendous hand me downs coming soon after him.  
Harry didn't care.  
Harry was perfectly capable of sleeping outside for one night.  
It's not as if he hadn't done it before.  
So Harry's trek towards the park began.  
Meanwhile, a young werewolf was currently heading through a neighbourhood after finishing a small odd job he took on. Before he went home he decided to take a stroll through the park. Nothing better than a breath of fresh air.  
....  
Remus sighed.  
Another tiring day of trying to make sure I get enough money for wolfsbane. Lovely.  
"Aah. I wonder how the others are doing, well, no use thinking about it now" He says out loud.  
Remus looked around the bleak park, nothing out of the ordinary. A small pond, trees, a bin, a rusty playground littered in graffiti, abandoned toys, a child sleeping on a bench.  
Wait.  
A child sleeping on a bench.  
Remus shook his tousled head. Sure enough it was still there.  
It looked about seven or eight years old. Remus, against his better judgement, walked forward.  
He almost jumped back in surprise.  
"James?.."  
He murmured, a hint of hysteria in his voice. He shook his head again. No this wasn't James.  
He glanced at the boys forehead.  
This was Harry Potter.  
The boy he spent years looking for, out on a park bench in a muggle neighbourhood.  
"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw." he ran a scarred hand through his brown locks. This certainly was a dilemma, wasn't it. For one, ten year old Harry Potter looked about seven years old. If that didn't raise red flags Remus didn't know what did.  
He supposed he had to wake the boy up for starters.  
...  
"Excuse me?" Harry sighed.  
Another person taking pity on the self proclaimed 'homeless boy'. Just what Harry needed. He was just *ecstatic*  
Please, note the sarcasm.  
Harry rubbed his eyes.  
"Yes?"  
" Is your name by any chance, Harry Potter?"  
This woke Harry up.  
"How did you know? Who are you? What do you want?" all in quick succession after the other.  
" Ah, I figured, I'm Remus Lupin, a friend of your father's."  
One of those people?  
" My father's dead so no I won't follow you." he deadpanned.  
"Ah, I think you misunderstood my intentions!"  
Misunderstood my ass.  
"No sir, thank you sir."  
"Ah, perhaps a picture would help me prove myself!"  
He then proceeded to take a picture from his front pocket.  
"always keep it with me you see."  
On the picture was Lupin and a man (James) who looked like Harry and a beautiful red headed woman with Harry's sage green eyes.  
"These were James and Lilly Potter," He smiled "Wonderful wizards really"  
Ah.  
Now Harry understood.  
"I'm incredibly sorry sir but I'm not looking to join the cult my parents were apart of.".


	2. Harry and his magic word.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay, Harry learns to do magic and is sarcastic as ever about it.

"WHAT?!"  
"Yes, I am uninterested in joining this cult of 'wizards' thank you."  
He looked at me in shock as if I just took his grandmother's knickers.  
"Harry, no, magic is real."  
"Ah yes, of course it is." I pat his back sympathetically. Yes, sometimes it's better not to oppose insane peoples views, for your own safety.  
"How about I show you some magic, just follow me!"  
Ah.  
If that doesn't sound like a creepy pick up line I don't know what does.  
"Now, you see, if you were a kidnapper that would be the opposite of what I should do, with all due respect sir."  
I said without an ounce of respect.  
"Ah."  
"That does sound creepy doesn't it?"  
"Right?" I say.  
"well how about this have you ever had something strange happen to you when you felt strong emotions."  
How very specific, not.  
"Well you see sir, I don't particularly feel strong emotions, but if theoretically that did happen, how exactly would that prove your point?"  
He looks exasperated.  
" That would be your accidental magic."  
Sigh, I can tell I'm getting nowhere with him. I suppose I'll have to burst the bubble.  
" Magic doesn't exist, sir. "  
He looks just about ready to throw something at me.  
" you're just like Sirius, if I didn't know better I'd think your his child. "  
Hmph, when would this creep leave magic wasn't real, I'm normal I'm not a-  
Not a -  
freak..  
No. I, Harrison James Potter. Am perfectly normal, excluding my malnourished body but...  
Anyways.  
" Sir, so far all you've said has sounded like some creep trying to kidnap a child." I stare at him blankly.  
He at least has the decency to look embarrassed. Good.  
"Ah, alright, how about this."  
He takes out a stick. A stick. I feel the gods hate me. He waves the polished stick and suddenly becomes blurry almost invisible but a hazy figure.  
Ah. So this was magic.  
Interesting.  
"and you're saying I could do this?"  
Lupin nods.  
"Teach me."  
"What?"  
Great, another argument.  
" I would need concrete proof before I leave with a complete stranger, no?"  
He thinks it over for a few seconds.  
"I suppose so, hold my wand and point at an object, say the words 'wingardium leviosa' while envisioning said object floating."  
"Are the words necessary?"  
"No they are just there to focus your intent."  
Hmm. So magic is intent based, curious. Very curious.  
I point his magical poking stick at a rock.  
"Die."  
It stutters for a bit and flies upwards.  
So it does work.  
Cool.  
"Die?"  
"Testing something, don't worry about it."  
He looks at me weirdly.  
"Wait. Wouldn't non magicals notice that?"  
I curse myself for not realising.  
"Ah, no, I cast a disillusionment charm."  
Some sort of invisibility from the sounds of it.  
"Alright, I'll follow you, as long as it's a public place."  
I'll question him why he couldn't take care of me and left me to Aunt Petunia later.  
Right now it's important to learn about this gift...  
"I assume there are magical towns and shops."  
Lupin nods.  
"First though, we might need to got to the Gringotts bank to get an inheritance test."  
Inheritance? Then my parents had money. Even more questions to why they left me with the Dursley then.  
Whatever, I'll get my answers at this magical bank.  
Would a magical bank run differently to a non - magical bank.  
Whatever, I'm sure there's lots of books on wizarding culture...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind off hate how Harry latched onto Hagrid in the books. An abused child, in my opinion, would be much more questioning and cautious. I get Hagrid is the first sign of Harry's magic but I feel he'd only latch himself on after a few days or weeks.  
> Heck. If someone came into my life suddenly saying magic is real and brought me a gift I'd be suspicious.  
> Although, it's justifiable, but I feel Harry in cannon never shows how Slytherin he could be.  
> sorry I'm ranting, but it kind of annoyed me.


	3. Gringotts bank of fed up goblins.

"Alright, take my hand and hold on tight, you might feel a little sick after this."  
I already regret my decision. Might as well. I grip his forearm and feel a pull on my navel. It kind of feels like I'm being squeezed into a tube, organs first. Ew, what a disgusting mental picture that paints....  
We finally land and I, with all the grace of a newborn lamb, puke all over Lupins shoes.  
He winces.  
"I'll, ah, clean it up..."  
He waves sticky, his wand, which I so lovingly named.  
I'm great at naming things!  
I shake my head, we're in a small alleyway.  
"Oh, so this is a kidnapping after all."  
"No" he says wearily "It's still not. I don't think a kidnapper could handle you."  
I smirk slightly at that.  
Of course they couldn't.  
He just looks at my face and walks away gesturing me to follow him.  
Nothing for me to lose I guess.  
I walk out, and oh boy.  
This was better than any of my fantasy novels! Except Lord of the rings. It holds a special place in my heart.  
The scene is filled with bright colours, owls flying, a warm smell of cinnamon and overall a bustling crowd. Shop owners were dealing with hagglers.  
I don't know what's better, the giant leaning building or the kid running away from a rat.  
It was all perfect.  
It kind of felt, homey.  
Like my cupboard or the library.  
Although I'll never admit it, I am happy I got to see this.  
"Soo, which building is the bank, I'll assume it's the imposing white one?"  
"That's right, let's go Harry." he smiles at me.  
It feels... Nice here.  
Whatever, I'll have to back to the Dursleys later anyway.  
This will be short lived.  
Or maybe I'll have enough inheritance money to pay for a house.  
My... Father, in the picture, looked rather well off.  
We'll see.  
....  
Harry and Remus walk up to the large steps of the bank. Harry lagged slightly behind Remus and as they were walking in read the scripture.  
"Fearsome warriors, goblins." said Remus "Don't try to steal from them unless you have a death wish."  
Harry realised Remus was serious.  
Harry decided to make allies with goblins, after all, they controlled the wizarding economy. Best to show them the respect they deserved.  
With this in mind Harry bowed his head to the goblins.  
He read about it once that it was a sign of submission.  
He didn't want to do something as embarrassing as bowing so he settled on that.  
The goblins looked startled and tried to quickly cover it up.  
'now' Harry thought 'time to do that blood inheritance test'.  
...  
I walk in with Remus.  
We make our way towards a desk or pedestal of sorts where a goblin sat. The one we came to was looking as if they were about to start smashing their head onthe table. I, once he notices us approach, bow my head. He looks surprised but covers it.  
"Ah, hello, Harry is here for an inheritance test."  
The goblin looks at me and Remus before seemingly deciding something.  
"Follow me, werewolf and young wix."  
Werewolf?  
He must be talking about Remus then.  
I wonder how werewolves work in the magical world.  
Wix was a term for wizard or with then?  
Oh well I'll see later.  
The goblin who helpfully told us his name was BloodHorn.  
A very warrior sounding name.  
"Sit down changeling, and Harry Potter I assume?"  
He was looking at me.  
"Oh! Yes sir!"  
He observes me before saying.  
"All right, take this dagger and put three drops if blood on the page, please."  
Remus looks shocked again, and I wonder if something is wrong with him.  
I pick up the dagger and carefully cut my finger.  
After the blood falls I wipe the dagger on my shirt.  
If magic and potions were anything like the muggle equivalent it would be wise to not let anyone have my blood.  
BloodHorn looks pleased at that and mutters something in a foreign language.  
Perhaps a goblin one?  
The quill starts writing on its own with my blood mixed with some if the potion BloodHorn put on it.  
Once it finishes BloodHorn passes the results to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry, a natural politician, I kind of feel like Hufflepuffs would make great politicians because how hardworking and empathic they are but idk, that's just my headcannon.


	4. Rituals and grumpy goblins.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Harry reads through his many blocks, a classic smart Harry troupe.... :`)

  
\----

\----  
Potter Lordship(Paternal)  
Gryffindoor Lordship(Paternal)  
Ravenclaw Lordship(Maternal)  
Peverell Lordship(Paternal)  
\----

\----  
Heir to house of Black  
\----

\----  
Potter Manor  
Peverell Chateau  
Ravenclaws Nest  
50% of Hogwarts  
Ravenclaws Library  
Gryffindoors Den  
\----

\----  
{{Through Peverell}}   
Vault 1   
(Rounded sum of 5 000 000 Galleons)   
Vault 13  
(Ancient artifacts)  
{{Through Potter}}   
Vault 687  
(5 000 galleons to be filtered in every year from Vault 532)  
Vault 532  
(rounded sum of 450 000 galleons)   
Vault 321  
(Rounded sum of 650 000 galleons)   
Vault 194  
(Ancient artifacts)  
{{Through Ravenclaw}}  
Vault 35  
(2 500 000 galleons)  
Vault 36  
(ancient Tomes and artifacts)  
{{Through Gryffindoor}}  
Vault 10  
(1 500 000)  
Vault 12  
(ancient artifacts)  
\----  
<>  
\----  
-Obliviate  
(done multiple times by A.Dumbledore(could have caused further harm to mind))  
\- Blood Glamour Charm (By A.Dumbledore)  
\- Loyalty charm(keyed to Albus Dumbledore, Molly, Ron and Ginny Weasley){broken}   
\- Distrust to anyone outside immediate friend group(by A.Dumbledore){Broken}   
\- Hate towards Slytherins, Dark Magic and Slytherin traits. {Broken}  
\- Magic block  
\- Intelligence block{broken}   
\- Self - Preservation block{broken}  
\- familiar blocks  
\- Soulmate bond Blocks  
\- Personality compulsions{Broken}   
\----  
Heritage  
\----  
{Lillian Evans}   
(squib line descendant of Ravenclaw)  
{James Fleamont Potter}  
{Sirius Orion Black}  
(Blood adopted father, converted illegally by A.Dumbledore into Godfather)  
\----  
\----  
"Ah."  
"What Harry?" Lupin says  
"Well for one my name is Harrison, for two, my magic seems to be heavily blocked.."  
.....  
"WHAT?!?" Shout both Lupin and BloodHorn in impressive synch.  
I put the paper on the table.  
"I'm going to assume that this isn't healthy or normal then."  
Lupin looks at me icily.  
I know it's not directed at me but damn, are his eyes flashing Amber?  
"Harrison, it is a miracle you are still alive right now!" Lupin says slowly.  
"Oh."  
"Call in a healer!"  
A healer, so wizards had classes to define themselves as...  
"We'll call in your account manager to see what he says about this... I have a feeling we may have a goblin traitor..."  
That seems pretty serious.  
Eh whatever.  
Soon enough, another goblin walks in "What have you called me for today Teller BloodHorn?". This goblin although with same gnarled features of the others is wearing green robes and carrying chalk and potions from what I can tell.  
I decide its a perfect time for me to cut in, after bowing my head of course.   
"Ah, I wanted to ask, what are soulmate?"  
At this everyone in the room looks at me.  
"I've got a vague idea from muffle fiction but overall, I'm blind." Remus regains his composure.  
"I think it would be best to talk once all your blocks are off and your magic isn't straining to keep you alive." The healer looks confused but BloodHorn nods in agreement with Lupin before passing the healer (SnagClaw) my file.  
She reads through and until the very end keeps her calm before throwing it on the ground in anger.  
" Don't wiz realise how much their society strains? To put a magical child through this... Before the ritual we ate performing a full medical scan. SnagClaw says with a fiery passion in their voice.  
" alright... So like, shouldn't Lupin get tested too? "  
Both goblins turn their attention to him.  
They then a toothy grin, "Why yea, yes we should."  
I'm taken by SnagClaw for a medical test while Remus gets his magic tested. From what I know, we have to do a ritual to get not only all my injuries and blocks fixed but also a 'mutilation of soul magics that wixen kind have screwed so far up their fat, hairy -' I'll stop it there.  
SnagClaw can get very descriptive, soon we'll be doing the ritual and until further notice, Lupin has been given guardianship over me, both magical and physical.  
Lovely.  
I just can't wait to live with a strange man after being introduced to a whole world I didn't know about.  
The ritual apparently has to be carried out quickly before that, and I quote 'wrinkly, prune of a ball sack comes back to stick his ugly nose into where it doesn't belong'.  
SnagClaw has quite the colorful vocabulary. Half of it I can understand since it's in her own language, but I'll assume it offensive to the old coot.  
The ritual is prepared and after me Lupin(who had a couple blocks) will also be purged of magical alterations.  
So wish me luck as I step into some sort of satanic circle.  
Harrison out.


	5. Rituals and grumpy goblins Pt2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrison wakes up and they talk about all the illegal things that have happened to Harry. Then. Shopping, then, soulmates!

Turns out.  
Having an extremely magically charged ritual with a malnourished body, was not the smartest idea. Harry subsequently learnt this because he spent a month in a magically induced coma. Lovely.  
While mist would probably be worried about other such matters.  
All Harry really cared about was that he was hungry.  
Oh, and that the streets were seriously busy since Hogwarts for those who were of age started soon.  
However, Harry wasn't.  
He would be in one year, but not this year.  
Harry didn't even want to got to Hogwarts. Who even named a school that?!  
Well.. Wizards he supposed.  
Ah, right it was time to wake up now though.  
He wondered what the Dursleys thought if his disappearance. Probably happy in all honesty.  
Not that Harry cared that much what they thought.  
\---  
Remus was pacing.  
One month.  
For ONE month.  
Harry had been in a coma, sure Remus was out for 2 days before regaining consciousness and being forced into a chamber for his full moon cycle since he was too weak to move.  
Harry, unfortunately, due to his malnutrition and the extensive amount of blocks placed on him, was still dead to the world.  
He may not have known him well but he was still his best friends child.  
"Mr Lupin, I assure you presumptive Lord Potter will awaken, we shall then go over the multiple grievances that were afflicted unto him."  
Suddenly, a voice rasped out.  
"Yeah,no sounds great but can I have a glass of water?"  
Their heads snapped around and there on the bed sat a slightly peeved Potter.  
Due to the healing his body had undergone he was now taller and had less hollow cheeks. Also, his hair brushed just past his shoulders.  
" Ah, Presumptive Lord Potter, glad you could join us, once you are fed and quenched before talking about all the revelations that have come to light."  
Harrison looks at him bows his head, and lays back down.  
"alright."  
\---  
"It turns out one of our own betrayed our very own rules and stole from Lord Presumptive, on behalf of the goblin nation, we express our condolences at this tragedy."  
Harrison waved him off.  
No worries as long as every last penny is taken back ill be fine."  
"Why, Of course, the goblin nation does not take kindly to thieves even if one of our own."  
Harrison nodded.  
"Good to know any other abnormalities before I claim my titles?"  
"Unfortunately, there is. Lupin was tested and had quite a few magical abnormalities about him also, though they were quickly corrected."  
He motioned to Lupin who ever since Harry had woke up began fussing over him.  
He also seemed more confident and happy, so Harrison guessed one of the spells were also aimed at his personality.  
" I see, I will press charges when I see fit, anything else? "  
BloodHorn sighed but carried on.  
"Indeed, it seems Dumbledore gas been feeding the money he stole into a couple different accounts, most noticeable, Molly Prewett along with her two children, Ronald and Ginerva, who subsequently has had an illegal magically binding marriage contract with you, although, since your name was filled out wrong it therefore the contract didn't work. Otherwise, you would, once married, essentially be Ginervas slave. "  
Harrison ran his had through his hair, his sage eyes darkening dangerously, as dangerous as a ten year olds could be.  
"Dang,is that family just corrupt or something."  
The goblin pondered for a bit.  
"No not entirely Arthur is essentially under the same contract you would have been and the twins, Charlie and Bill all didn't know of this. Only Percy Weasley, the youngest two and Molly are aware...."  
Harrison sat in silence for a minute.  
"Haha... Wow, my life is pretty messed up isn't it."  
Lupin looked at him in sympathy while BloodHorn scowled sympathetically, as sympathetic as he could be anyways....  
"On the bright side all blocks are removed and you should be able to recognise your soulmates now."  
Harrison quirked a brow.  
"Plural?"  
The goblin smirked again.  
"Indeed, I hope you are not against such an arrangement?"  
Harrison chuckled.  
"No, of course not, just curious."  
"Well, then I believe now that we've got everything out, we can move onto the title claiming?"  
"Why of course. Wouldn't want to wear Dudleys rags for too long would I?"  
The goblin scrunched his nose up in disgust.  
"I should hope so, do be sure to burn them when you're done."  
Harry nodded and so began the process of putting random rings on his fingers, in some sort of order.  
\---  
After that was over and done with and Harrison walked out that office with the magical equivalent of a credit card and a heavy ring on his finger.  
Magic was really weird...  
Oh well, Harrison really didn't care.  
First thing Harry decided, was not definitely robes.  
He stepped into Madam Malkins. She immediately asked him if he was there for Hogwarts and was surprised to hear he was actually there for a full wardrobe. No uniform.  
She didn't question him though, so Harrison was happy.  
Next, he needed some reading material and so he let Lupin drag him to the nearest book store, in which he left to look for his own books.  
Harry just stood there a bit confused but just walked on a random direction. His confusion must have been evident on his face because no sooner than one minute passes before he hears two voices call out to him, or about him, he didn't really know.  
"Well lookie here Gred what I found." a mischievous voice said.  
"A firstie confused on where to go Feorge? Why wouldn't it be kind of us to help?"  
"Why, yes it would, wouldn't it?"  
Harrison slightly miffed turned around to face these two voices.  
He saw a shock of red hair but then their eyes met and Harrison swore everything else melted away.  
The voices, his soulmates, Harry realised, looked just as shocked as him and were frozen in place.  
"Ah, you're my soulmates then huh?".


	6. That awkward moment when...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrison doesn't know how to communicate with his soulmates Remus is confused and the twins are a pile of confusion, worry and excitement.

They stared,  
And stared.  
Harry was honestly wondering if he had something in his teeth.  
"Alright then.... I'm going to go... That way, see you around I guess..." He pointed at a random direction and nearly sprinted away.  
Hah, that was probably the most awkward thing he's ever said.  
Now his soulmates probably thought of him as a shy coward. Amazing.  
Harrison wanted to bang his head on the wall.  
You know what why not?  
He slammed his head against the wall. Ouch.  
"What are you doing?" Lupin asked.  
Ah, shows up right after he was needed. Great timing.  
" I'm having a Bi-panic, because I just said the most awkward thing to my soulmates!"  
"Oh."  
....  
"WAIT, SOULMATES?!"  
Yikes, if I wasn't in pain from the head banging, that definitely put me there.  
"I need to see, lead the way Harrison."  
I stare at him.  
"YOU expect ME, to show my face after that embarrassment. Haha. Good luck honey."  
Remus gaped at me.  
Seriously do I have something in my teeth?  
"Well."  
A very familiar voice says from behind Lupin.  
"Me and Georgie thought it was cute,oh soulmate of ours! "  
A second pipes in. Then, they walk into the middle ground between me and Lupin.  
AhAh.  
"Kill me now."  
I say facing the wall once again.   
" I just woke up from a coma, I'm not mentally or physically ready to deal with this."  
Lupin looks at me exasperated.  
"Really Harrison? Out of all the things to say to your soulmates?"  
I lightly smack my head against the wall again.  
"I don't know what to say thoughhhhh!"  
Throughout this whole ordeal my soulmates stared at me.  
"Okay, seriously? Do I have something on my face?"  
They shake their heads.  
"No" the one with lighter brown eyes chirps.   
"But" the one with more freckles continues.   
"we would like to know why our soulmate was in a coma."   
They Finish.   
Oh, this was going to be one long explanation.   
"First I'll finish book shopping and then we can talk, I am currently in emotional distress."   
I cut them off before they say a any more.   
I'm to tired of this.   
I should've stayed asleep...   
Not that I'm not happy to meet my soulmates. Just, tired.   
Also, how tall can they be?   
I know I've grown but they still tower over me?!   
I want to be tall too...   
Eh, I'm sure it'll be fine.   
Maybe.   
Probably.   
"Ah, what are the books I should start with?" my soulmates,George and Fred as I've learned, just shook their heads and grabbed my hands before dragging me somewhere else in the store.   
Is this considered kidnapping then? Should I call the police?  
Probably not, I'm already in too deep and last time I tried they didn't care. Sad times.   
I sigh and speed up so George and Fred don't rip my arms out of their sockets.   
This was turning out to be quite a tiring day...


	7. I'm a ✨celebrity ✨ get me away from the Dursleys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well. Time for full names and exposing mothers!  
> That would be so weird out of context...  
> Oh well! Thanks for all your support so far!

Diagon Alley.  
I mean I would be surprised but I suppose I'm not. I mean after seeing the goblins? No offense but you can see the fact they aren't human, not that I don't like them, without them I probably wouldn't know about half the things smothering me(blocks I think, I forgot to ask.). Also, the twins.  
I mean they speak like they can hear each others thought. I wouldn't doubt it if they did to be honest. We've so far, been through the bookstore, the ice cream store, which was unnecessary as I stated and headed the opposite way to a stationary store.  
The twins, although relenting the loss if ice cream. Which I don't get I really don't, perhaps its because I've never had it?  
No matter.  
Remus, I mean, Lupin.  
Took us to the potions shop and only allowed me a first year's kit.  
Oh well.. I'm sure even I could make something fun with that.  
Back to my soulmates, the twins, Fred and George.  
I can't think of anymore ways to refer to then as so I'll stop there.  
"Ah, right what are your full names?" I mean I have to know there full names since their my soulmates.  
"why."Fred starts.  
" How rude of us. "George carries on. They smirk at each other, I think I know what they'll do.  
" I am Fred Weasley. "George hums and soon after is followed by Fred." And I, dear soulmate, Harrison, am George Weasley. "  
I'm shocked. So they are part of the family stealing from me? Ah, they don't know well have to clear that up, after I set them straight.  
" Haha, yes and I'm Merlin dancing in a bloody tutu."  
Seriously, maybe they don't realise their magics feel different from each other?  
I'll ask them later.  
"Right, jokes aside, do you know Molly Weasley?"  
They look at each other before shrugging and whining  
"Oh, yes."  
"Mother is quite the banshee."  
"So what's she done to make our soulmate know of her."  
They're more sly than I expected. Very subtle interrogation there.  
"Has she stolen your first born child?"  
"Perhaps thousands of galleons from your vaults? " Fred teases.  
Remus, who was watching, looks at me as if asking what to do.  
"Why yes she has, my dear soulmates."  
.  
.  
.  
"Really?!"  
"I mean we knew the money was coming from somewhere but..."  
Ah, so they had their suspicions then?  
"Don't worry it's fine, I have worse things to deal with. " I wave them off but there broke seems to furrow further if possible.  
"It really isn't Harrison, or Harry, can we call you Harry?"  
I smile.  
"it is, and of course you can don't worry about it!"  
Fred then randomly hugs me, I wasn't expecting it so I let out a yelp. George joined after.  
" Yeah, we'll talk about your bigger things to worry about later, just... Take care if yourself Harry.."  
This was... Nice. I while we might not immediately start a relationship, I, don't mind these two, they're really.... Warm.  
"Mh, okay."  
Right I should probably go now, Aunt Petunia will be expecting me.  
"Oh, yeah. I suppose I should also introduce myself then."  
They've stopped hugging me.  
"I am... A fairy."  
... No, okay the.  
"I'm also called Harrison Potter, or Harry I guess."  
.  
.  
.  
What is it with people and gaping?  
"Um, hello?"  
Lupin pipes up.  
"Harry-Harrison,you are quite well known in the wizard in world. Though I guess since the blood glamour was removed people can't really recognise you."  
At that I snort.  
"Wow, so famous, I stayed in cupboards half my life, I don't see what's famous about that!"  
Remus sighs.  
"You'll read about it at some point, I need a whisky before I start explaining to you."  
I glare at him. Crusty old dinosaur.  
Whatever.  
"So..."  
"What was that about cupboards?" The twins leaned in, I knew I promised to explain things to them but the Dursleys are another story, for another time.  
"I'll tell you when I feel comfortable."  
They stared at me, before nodding at each other.  
Seriously, are they telepathic or something?!  
"Anyway about the coma... In short, I've had blocks and a glamour on me since a young age so I was purged of them recently, due to malnutrition, I was put into a medical coma for a month."  
Ugh, I hate how serious this atmosphere is, it's seriously a drag.  
"Anyway, I need to figure out some different living arrangements, since my current home is, probably not willing to welcome me again."  
That's right it's been a month, they probably think me dead and be happy about it. Hell. I wouldn't be surprised if they made it a holiday.  
" Well would invite you.. "  
" But unfortunately.. "  
" We have a feeling our home isn't the safest option either. "  
It's telepathy.  
I'm. Betting on it.  
I look at Remus.  
"Buckle up, you're stuck with me now Mr.CreepyNotPickupline."  
Remus looks at me.  
"It wasn't a pick up line."  
"You don't deny your stuck with me."  
"I've learnt not to deny reality."


	8. Remodeling and angst✨

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrison does a bit of remodeling and a few old scars catch up to him.

"Woah."  
"When was the last time you cleaned this place? I mean, not to be ungrateful but..."  
Remus looks embarrassed. Yikes, grown man can't clean.  
I know I have high standards for cleaning afterDurskaban (a new name I came up with after hearing of the wizarding prison) . Still, even without my High standards this place was grimy.  
Cobwebs everywhere, dust settling in everything unused and a foul stench coming from the trash can.  
"Right, get the cleaning supplies, no magic, there is no way you can live inside this mess."  
"But.."  
"No buts. Go."  
He walks away and I can almost see his absolute distaste.  
Shouldn't have let it get to that point.  
Now, I'm in for a long day. Might as well get Remus to do some... Redecorating while I'm at it.  
Like those curtains?  
Oh no.  
Absolutely not.  
I would be ashamed.  
Also, the carpet which should be white, is an almost greyish color. Yuck. The only neat thing in this house is the bookshelves and coffee machine.  
Horrendous.  
....  
HahA.  
"How have you survived so long?"  
Remus flushes.  
"Look, I'm sorry I'm not usually home often so I don't clean too much."  
I give him a pointed look.  
"Yeah, and I couldn't eat often but did that stop me from learning how to cook? No."  
He looks a bit sad at what I said but seems to realise the insult.  
"You little twerp!"  
"Shut up and scrub those walls!"  
He grumbles but goes back to washing the wall. Which is actually a nice cream colour, not yellow. Yikes.  
I sigh.  
"Right, get all the items outside, we're painting the walls again."  
He looks at me like a kicked puppy. The wolf is strong with this one.  
"After the first coat you can use magic."  
He brightens up at that.  
Goodness, I thought I was the child.  
He's what 23? And I'm ten.  
Absolutely nuts.  
"Right but up the new curtains...."  
....  
Finally done, the whole house has been cleaned and remodelled.  
The walls are light in color and have wall stickers at random places. Because why not?  
The living room has a grey couch with red pillows. That man refused any other color saying that it was sentimental for him.  
He's mental in all honesty.  
Our rooms are all made up and not a cobweb in sight.  
"A job well done!"  
"Speak for yourself Harrison, I'm tired, hungry and smell like crap, I'm going to take a shower and sleep, you know where your room is. Well talk tomorrow. Bye." He says and stumbles to the bathroom.  
My room is a bit big but it has a nice closet, which while it's probably unhealthy, I'll settle down in for a while.  
Open spaces give me bad vibes. I'm sure I'll get over it at some point.  
...  
This closet is still big. The Dursleys would flip if they saw me like this and knew how rich I was. That's nice. The closet is way bigger than my cupboard...  
It's uncomfortable.  
Uncle Vernon could fit inside here. So could Dudley. Would they find him? No, no, Harry is a wizard now, they can't hurt me.  
It hurts, why is my breathing so fast? This is irrational. They can't hurt me... But what if they can? No. They won't. Right?  
"Hey Twerp?!"  
Oh no. They found him. They'll see him. It's fine. He's done this before.  
Knock.  
"Harrison, are you in there?!"  
Knock.  
"Harrison, deep breaths, okay, open the door please?"  
The voice.  
Soft.  
It's Lupins'.  
Right. I'm not at the Dursleys anymore. He's with Lupin. In his room. Right.  
"H-hey Lupin, what's the fuss?"  
Might as well face him.  
"Harrison? Harry?! Oh thank goodness you're fine I couldn't find you and hot worried you twerp!"  
I nod.  
Right, Lupin wouldn't hurt him.  
He was... Safe.


	9. Snakes and Owls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrison meets his snake friend. Name suggestions? Also for the owl because while I love Hedwig, if Harry was like this, let's be real, he'd choose a different name.

Harry hated feeling weak more than anything, it put a sour taste in his mouth. It made him uncomfortable, needles to say, he despised his mental breakdowns.  
It was often the reason he liked being alone.  
When you're alone, no one can see you.  
No one can judge you.  
That, in Harry's opinion was better.  
...  
Remus, despite popular opinions, is quite bad at dealing with mental health.  
Merlin, his was practically made up!  
Although he wanted to ask Harry if he was okay, he knew it would probably be best to wait. Harry didn't trust him yet after all. However, Remus is a very patient person.  
...  
I grumble, my head hurts so much. Dammit.  
Yesterday...  
Well I don't know what to make of yesterday, except that Remus is trash at decorating.  
He's a good hugger though.  
Harry didn't get hugs before this.  
Never mind.  
Might as well read some of the books I got...  
...  
He's not down yet..  
Is he hurt?  
Dead?!  
No, let's not jump yo conclusions.  
I'll just knock on his door.

... He's not answering.  
I'll just check in.  
I shift the door to the side and crane my head around.  
Ah.  
He's sleeping.  
While studying.  
What a very Harry thing to do...  
Before I can stop I start to chuckle. I should probably get Harry a form of communication with the twins. An owl. Though perhaps he'd want a friend too.  
A snake maybe?..  
Yeah, a snake would be good.  
First let's get him back into bed. I never would have expected him to have Lily's shocking red hair though...  
...   
Mhh. Which page am I on? Hm? Ah, a blanket it's soft... I guess I must be fallen asleep.   
Ah a note...   
'Hey Harrison, if you're reading this you've woken up. I'm out to get something I'll be back soon, breakfast Is on the table along with some presents <3'   
What a cute note... Kind of like a mother. Wait presents?   
Gosh isn't that a bit too much. No matter, I shouldn't be so ungrateful. It'll ruin my skin.   
...   
A snake, he got me, a snake. An owl too, a young one by the looks of it. It's a beautiful snowy white with some gray baby feathers.   
Back to the snake, I mean, it's beautiful and it's lounging on my arm, but I don't think I'm supposed to be able to talk to it. Ha, I'm going insane.   
~Well human, what iss your name~ it lisps.   
I'm really insane, possibly more for trying to answer it.   
~My name iss Harisssson~  
It looks at me before bopping it's head.   
~a fitting name for my human~  
~Ah, okay. ~


	10. Familiar names and Shady Laws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When will Hogwarts start? Why after the next chapter! I'm terrible at names so yeah and if you couldn't tell I'm trying to make this a more slow introduction for Harry, he's getting more comfortable with Remus since he's stopped calling him Lupin but, he's still having a hard time with associating things as his, ill probably bring up some more sensitive topics next chapter so be warned.  
> but first enjoy friendly banter between Lupin and Harry!

~Um ssssso do you have a name? ~  
She looks at me with a stare before answering.  
~I do nottt youngling you may gifffft me one~  
What an entitled snake... Very... red too... How much red must Lupin incorporate into my life?!  
~How about Carmine it'sss a Latin name meaning vivid reddd?~  
She curls her head around my wrist before answering.  
~sssssuffffficient~  
She rubs her head against me and closes her sage green eyes that have an uncanny resemblance to mine.  
"As for you. "  
I look at the owl who puffs up her chest.  
"I don't really know..."  
She stares at me. AhAh. This is so awkward. Ehm. Her eyes reflect the night sky, what an odd thing.  
"Ehm... What about Nyx?"  
She hoots softly before nestling her head into her feathers.  
"I'M BAaaAaaAAAcK!"  
Holy-  
"No need to shout you walking ball of hairballs!"  
"That hurts, Harry, truly, how could you after I give you a home and gifts?" he says.  
"I thought we had something together.."  
I stare at him.  
"Ew."  
He glares at me.  
"Shut up, not in that way you weird child."  
I flinch slightly.  
"Tch, whatever I hope you got a lint roller."  
"For your information you menace I only turn into a wolf one time a month."  
I look at him.  
"Then why are there so many laws if you're only dangerous for one night a month, kind of counterproductive to take away working rights from werewolves when they need to buy an expensive potion every month, yikes government, yikes."  
Remus looks in thought.  
" That's true.... Wait where did you get law books? "  
I look at him.  
" Don't worry about it. "  
He contemplates and sighs before sinking into the new not filthy armchair. Am I a bit petty? Maybe. But he's a grown man who was living in a pig sty of course I am.  
" Alright, so um, I looked in the books and, do wizards not have culture? "  
'cough' 'cough'  
"WhaT?"  
"I mean like, try reading those books with no prior knowledge of the wizarding world, it states random facts but doesn't explain anything to new comers. Also, I can't find any wizarding holidays??"  
Remus looks between me and the book. Picks up the book. Flips through the pages and face palms.  
" Hah, now that u think about it, this is probably why puebloods don't accept muggleborns."  
"Yo,not gonna lie that sounds like some Hitler racist shit and I'm not digging it."  
"Why would Hitler be part of-oh, that actually makes sense."  
"Yeah, really puts things into perspective doesn't it?"  
He nods.  
"Aight, I'm heading back to the bedroom then."  
"Your bedroom!" he called after me.  
Right, yeah, it's mine...  
Anyway guess I'll start setting up an enclosure for Carmine and a perch for Nyx.... This is going to be interesting.


End file.
